Lost for Words

Last day of the rest of my life
I wish I would've known
Cause I didn't kiss my mama goodbye
I didn't tell her that I loved her and how much I care
Or thank my pops for all the talks
And all the wisdom he shared

Unaware, I just did what I always do
Everyday, the same routine
Before I skate off to school
But who knew that this day wasn't like the rest
Instead of taking a test
I took two to the chest

Call me blind, but I didn't see it coming
Everybody was running
But I couldn't hear nothing
Except gun blasts, it happened so fast
I don't really know this kid
Even though I sit by him in class

Maybe this kid was reaching out for love
Or maybe for a moment
He forgot who he was
Or maybe this kid just wanted to be hugged
Whatever it was
I know it's because

[chorus:]
We are, We are, the youth of the nation

Little Suzy, she was only twelve
She was given the world
With every chance to excel
Hang with the boys and hear the stories they tell
She might act kind of proud
But no respect for herself

She finds love in all the wrong places
The same situations
Just different faces
Changed up her pace since her daddy left her
Too bad he never told her
She deserved much better

Johnny boy always played the fool
He broke all the rules
So you would think he was cool
He was never really one of the guys
No matter how hard he tried
Often thought of suicide

It's kind of hard when you ain't got no friends
He put his life to an end
They might remember him then
You cross the line and there's no turning back
Told the world how he felt
With the sound of a gat

[chorus]

Who's to blame for the lives that tragedies claim
No matter what you say
It don't take away the pain

That I feel inside, I'm tired of all the lies
Don't nobody know why
It's the blind leading the blind

I guess that's the way the story goes
Will it ever make sense
Somebody's got to know

There's got to be more to life than this
There's got to be more to everything
I thought exists

[chorus]

Everytime I've been reading the news lately, the above song always comes to mind:

- a suicide pact between two teenage girls
- two teenage girls killing their friend because 'they felt like it'
- 3 North Korean teenagers are in a Laotian prison facing deportation where they will face almost certain execution
- A mother, her 2 sisters and mother escaping prison for forcing two toddlers to fight each other with a folded magazine and a hairbrush. They swore and pushed the children to keep on fighting even when the kids wanted to run away

I just feel this frustration with the world I'm living in today. This is not the world I want the next generation to see. It'd be so tempting to blame God for all of this. If he's so powerful, why doesn't he stop any of this? Doesn't he care about the innocent? Doesn't he care full stop?

It's the ultimate question and I don't have the answers.

I guess it's the consequence of free will and the human condition. Everyone is a sinner and they have the freedom to make any choice they want. And the result is the world we're seeing today. As much as it hurts God, it's the price he paid to give us freedom. That's why he calls every Christian to stand and fight for the Word.

Over the last three months, I've felt this tugging in my heart to work with young people, to give them a new perspective, new insight into what life can be. To see them be something than what the world says it should be. And this is only possible through knowing God for who he really is.

Looking at the news, I have my work cut out. But with God, all things are possible

Dancing in the Freedom I know
Mr T

Continuing on from my legal themed posts, here's an amusing emails from another comrade albeit from QUT *coughs* UQ rules *coughs*

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Courtesy of Ricford Tran:

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Dancing in the Freedom I Know
Mr T

While typing up Justice Hayne's ratio for the case of Harriton v Stephens for my torts essay as any self respecting 1st year law student at UQ would do, I encountered my first ever frog, leaping around the place.

Courtesy of a fly swatter and a bucket, my dad captured the amphibian and released into the wild or our front yard to be exact.

If anything else, it broke the monotony of uni work and provided material for a blog entry, which can only be a good thing.

Dancing in the Freedom I Know
Mr T

OC 2007 has come and gone and now is the time to reflect on what I've learnt and experienced in April 6-9 in Melbourne.

To be honest, I didn't get much in terms of a greater understanding of a prophetic church or great teaching. Most of the teaching either went over my head or I was too unconscious to listen.

However, I still experienced personal breakthroughs. This in spite of night 1 of OC which has to rank as one of my lowest spiritual points where I just couldn't cope with praise and worship and had to leave. I remember sitting outside in the cold asking "what do I do now?" and "why am I even here". God's response? "go back inside" and "this is all part of the bigger picture...trust me". So the emotions of reluctance and confusion reigned supreme. However, God works in mysterious ways.

The fellowship with the Ablaze guys - man what can I say, it was an awesome experience. I don't know, there's something about 22 guys sharing a dorm, a fuseball, pool table and table tennis court that encouraged this awesome bonding (in a completely non-sus way).

The real turning point was the presbytery on Saturday. Seeing Pastor Belle and Lance (Gold Coast) and Helen and Brendan (Adelaide) up there, I don't know, just stirred something inside of me. An understanding that this is what being part of a prophetic church really means, what being a part of the CHURCH really means. Something clicked and I was wiping tears from my eyes.

Secondly, when Lisa Hong prophesised over me on Saturday night. I didn't feel an emotional high, but the change I experienced was more subtle - it was like an emergence of a new perspective in my life and the way I look at my situations.

And finally, the last personal moment came after convention when I was hanging out with 2 dear sisters in Christ in Melbourne eating at a Thai restaurant. It was memorable for the reason that it was just nice to just forget about my worries and fears and just be able to enjoy people's company.

So that sums up my experience at OC, which despite not being what I intended, still ended up fulfilling my deepest goal of being changed and being unrecognisable (albeit subtly) when I got home.

I'd leave with this one line of a song that was played at OC that really struck a chord and what I've learnt:

You give and take away, still my heart will choose to say, blessed be the name

Dancing in the Freedom I Know
Mr T

Well it's 2 days til Oceania Convention! (3rd time looking spelling Oceania). And since I'll probably forget my goals and expectations, now is a good time to do an entry before my trip to Melbourne.

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Dancing in the Freedom I Know
Mr T

Mr T Enterprises wishes Lucy and Tina Wong a very happy Birthday

Many thanks for the great memories I've had with both of you driving me home from Ablaze every Friday night. From the close brushes with the law to skidding uncontrollably for 50m, car rides home have never been the same.

Cheap jokes aside, thanks for being strong Sisters in Christ - it's good to have spiritual role models to look up to. It's good to know that I can always trust in you two to always be available whenever I'm feeling down or need guidance.

Great job with the party - I could tell a lot of effort had been expended.

I wish you girls a very happy birthday and can't wait for next year's theme party.

Dancing in the Freedom I Know
Mr T

Thought I would try to bulk up my quite lacklustre blogging stats for this month.

So where to start....

The major thing I've learnt in Introductory Microeconomics is that my lecturer does not care about the sexuality of my fridge. Always nice to know. Homophobia against kitchen appliances is always a big social no-no.

Secondly, I feel mournful about the sad loss of Market Square. If you listen closely, you can hear the sounds of Asian mothers weeping because they can no longer shop at Yuen's anymore. For me, the biggest shock was the loss of Malaya Corner - that place was like an institution for me. Oh well, goes to show that nothing lasts forever.

Week 3 of Ablaze Service is up and going and for the first time, I managed to have an awesome at this place. More in further blog entries...when I'm not too busy with tutoring, assignment prep, revision, reading, downloading info, watching videos on youtube....

Dancing in the Freedom I Know
Mr T

Does anyone hate how at Camp or at church or at OC that we're so touched, so moved by God and vow to live for God wholeheartedly, only to go back to our old sinful lives the day after?

I guess it demonstrates how a God moment is not enough to change lives - it requires a day to day commitment to live God's way. The right decisions need to be made not just when life's going great but when crunch time comes.

When it comes to changing our lives, God paves the way, opens the door, sets the foundation etc. However, after all that, the ball is in our court. We must be the ones to make the conscious decision to say no to temptation and to say yes to living in the Spirit. Otherwise, we're all talk and no action.

Dancing in the Freedom I know
Mr T

All other ground is sinking sand
A dying maze of desert land
Where darkness rules the heart of man
Till the Son shines light on him

Lord of all, show You're strong
On our knees we fall

Be a Cornerstone, be a Cornerstone
Be the Rock higher than I
Be my Fortress Wall
Be a Foundation for all
My Cornerstone

The building swaying in the wind
The towers crumble down again
This certainly will be the end
If they're not built on Him

Lord of all, show you're strong
On our knees we fall

Be a Cornerstone, be a Cornerstone
Be the Rock higher thanI
Be my Fortress Wall
Be a Foundation for all
My Cornerstone

You, You are the Builder of my heart
You held me together from the start

Be a Cornerstone, be a Cornerstone
Be the Rock higher than I
Be my Fortress Wall
Be a Foundation for all
My Cornerstone